Though the Berenstain Bears books no longer occupy the main shelves of our family's library, it's not that long ago that I read them over and over again--and discovered that I couldn't stand them. I wasn't alone; I often heard other parents say, "I hate the Berenstain Bears."
They seem like a harmless lot until you catch on to the unfortunate portrayal of Mama Bear. For starters, she's always dressed in the same blue and white polka-dotted dress. It's frumpy and unfashionable, and with her matching cap and roly poly body, she's all Mama and nothing else.
She's got no sense of humor, no secrets or hint of allure, and no surprises in her personality. Sure enough, when she and Papa Bear head out for their second honeymoon, she's dressed in that old familiar blue and white polka-dotted dress.
Moreover, Mama Bear always has the right answers to the family's problems. When Sister starts biting her fingernails in first grade, Mama devises thoughtful, Pavlovian solutions. When she tackles the family's weight problem (without ever acknowledging her own), she trashes the junk food and initiates sensible healthy eating.
The trouble with all of this is . . . it hits close to home. Even though most of us don't look or dress like Mama Bear, we may feel like her, especially when raising young children. It's hard to escape being Mama--even for a moment--when a baby's at your breast, when a toddler follows you into the bathroom, or when a pre-schooler hangs on your skirt and drags it off your hips. It's hard to find time to choose earrings for the day or find something new to wear.
It's easier to pull out that polka-dotted dress from yesterday.
And Mamas today still solve most of the family's problems. Maybe we're genetically hardwired for this responsibility or maybe we don't trust fathers with the task. In any case, the trouble is this: Mama wil eventually meet up with a problem that's too big to solve alone. Then will we see the real Mama, her cap askew, her daisy wilted? Will the title be "The Berenstain Bears and the Depressed and Overwhelmed Mama"?
Don't count on it. It's not a book we'd like to read.
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