"The Scream"

That "The Scream" sold for nearly $120 million last night at Sotheby's seems fitting.  It is the symbol of our time, after all, and only increases in relevance as life grows more bizarre.  All you need to do is read the front page of any American newspaper or listen to the evening news, and you'll feel exactly like the figure in Edvard Munch's pastel.

A Modest Proposal

In the spirit of New York City's release of teacher evaluation scores last week, I propose that we conduct a similar process for our nation's doctors. Included in our report will be only general practitioners and pediatricians, since they--like teachers--are paid less than others with comparable degrees. We'll use as our measure the weight of each doctor's patients over a two-year period, just as NYC's teachers were evaluated based only on student scores on standardized tests.

Other measures will not be included. Doctors will receive no credit for preventive health screenings, effective management of chronic diseases, accurate diagnoses, or patient advocacy. Factors contributing to patients' weights will not be considered; all that matters is the number of patients who maintain a healthy weight. Doctors will lose points for overweight and obese patients, and for any patient who gains weight during the evaluation.

Results will be published online in The New York Times, The Washington Post, the L.A. Times, and USA Today. All you'll need to do is type in the name of your doctor and her score will appear. Kathleen Sibelius, Secretary of Health and Human Services, will quote her co-worker Education Secretary Arne Duncan on the release of such information: "Silence is not an option."

The American Medical Association, in protesting the evaluation process, will be denounced for behaving like an angry teachers' union. Individual doctors will be held in contempt by their patients, who will think they know more about practicing medicine than doctors do. Fewer young people will apply to medical school, realizing that professions treated with disrespect can't flourish.

Instead they'll try teaching, and end up right where they started.

Weight Matters

The recent eruption over Chris Christie's weight exposed the elephant in America's living room. Political commentators, journalists, and late-night comedians all broke the silence--some of them were vicious and others were thoughtful. No matter the tone, the governor's obesity went viral.

What's going on?

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, about 1/3 of American adults are obese. A shocking graphic on the Center's website shows an animated map of the United States from 1985 - 2010, where the dark colors representing obesity percentages take over more and more of the country each year. Among industrialized nations, we are second only to Mexico with the highest percentages of obese and overweight citizens; and our children tie with Scotland for the fattest population in the world (see "Economix").

We can't deny it. We're fat, and fatter than most of the rest of the world. Governor Christie's obesity is there for all to see. Whether we laugh uncomfortably about him or defend him passionately, we're squirming at the symbolic portrayal he reveals. Fairly or not, his obesity gets at the heart of America today, the part we'd rather hide: greedy, gluttonous, out-of-control, and self-absorbed.

Above all, we're consumers--consumers who consume more than our share. It's as if we're eating up the rest of the world, and it's not a picture we want to see.