I wish I was in the land of cotton. . .

. . . oh that's right, I already am.

And so are a lot of other people who, I think, are still working through the final vestiges of the Civil War.

Let me explain.

Following the president's State of the Union speech last month, a New York Times commentator said that the country's political climate has not been so polarized since the Civil War.  And in the month since that speech, the climate has grown even worse as the Republican party holds the rest of us hostage to its narrow, privileged platform--determined to defeat President Obama regardless of the cost.

Enter "Dixie": the 2012 electoral map that shows all of the old Confederacy, except for Virginia, as solidly red.  Call me whatever you want for raising the issue of race, but I think the election--and then, to top it off, the reelection--of a black man reignited the smoldering ashes of Atlanta, Richmond, and Gettysburg.  One hundred fifty years is not that long for a nation to recover from such a traumatic war--a war that was fought largely over the place of the black man and the states' rights to determine that place.

That a black man now sits at the top (with his black family living in that whitest of white houses) has taxed some people so much that they can only lash out--which is exactly what's happening.  And isn't the word "sequester" an interesting one as the focus of all the rage?  It sounds ominously like "secession" and means essentially the same thing as "segregation."

The writer of "Dixie" had it right: "Old times there are not forgotten."  Someday they will be, I feel certain.  But in the meantime, those who wish to remember are choosing to destroy whatever they can on their way down.

Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave

It wasn't just Mitt Romney who was defeated last week.  It was also the lies he told.  Lies about his record, lies about his policies, lies about Jeeps made in China.  He and his Republican Party couldn't stop lying, so much so that they even lied to themselves--denying facts and polls and evidence that left them stunned by their defeat on November 6.

They have only themselves to blame.  The false bubble they created grew so big that it burst, like a child's bubble blown into the wind.

I hope they chart a more truthful course for the future.  Sure, there will always be politics and spin and exaggeration, but day after day of outright lies does no one any good.  Cynicism and ignorance abound, and intelligent disagreements are impossible.

Let's hope that the so-called "Party of Lincoln" decides going forward to follow the advice of Honest Abe.

Winners All

What a triumphant week!  Let's join together with President Obama to sing Queen's great song "We Are the Champions" and enjoy the moment.  These are the real words:

I've paid my dues -
Time after time -
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime -
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face -
But I've come through.

We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions - of the world -

I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls -
You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it -
 I thank you all -

But it's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise -
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race -
And I ain't gonna lose -

We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions - of the world -

Enthusiasm Gap? I Don't Think So

Any campaign that signed up volunteers to work in a storage unit on election day did something right.  Here we are inside Unit 10 of Ample Storage on Tuesday:

Yes, this was a temporary field office in Durham, staffed by hearty Obama enthusiasts.  The working conditions were terrible: it was cold, loud, and dreary.  But there we were, making phone calls and driving voters to the polls.

I guess we've learned something.  This kind of energy really can beat millions of dollars.

Ain't It Good to Know

I still can't get over the images of Barack Obama and Chris Christie together this week.  What an improbable duo.  Governor Christie seemed smitten with his new friend, which brings to mind James Taylor's lovely song "You've Got a Friend."

When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa, nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and phone me at any hour of day and I will be certain that FEMA's there.

You just call for Barack at my special White House number
And I'll cut through all the red tape.
Political opponents no more, we're joined together now at the core
And I'll be there yeah, yeah, yeah,
You've got a friend.

If the sky above you should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow,
Wrap your fleece around you and call my name out loud.
Soon I'll be walking along your shore.
You just call for Barack at my special White House number
And I'll cut through all the red tape.
Political opponents no more, we're joined together now at the core
And I'll be there yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?  Romney can be so cold. 
He'll hurt you and desert you.  He'll take your soul if you let him.
Oh, but don't you let him.

You just call for Barack at my special White House number
And I'll cut through all the red tape.
Political opponents no more, we're joined together now at the core
And I'll be there yes I will,
You've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend?
Aint' it good to know you've got a friend?
Oh yeah, yeah,
You've got a friend.

BFFs

The skinny black intellectual from Chicago and the big white guy from Jersey make quite a pair.  Who could have predicted the unlikely camaraderie that has developed between Barack Obama and Chris Christie?  Just last week the Governor trashed the President here in the south, in both North Carolina and Virginia.  Now he's Barack Obama's best friend.

In a piercing New York Times column, "The 'I' of the Storm," Maureen Dowd explores the political advantages both men gain in their new relationship.  With biting wit she points to Governor Christie's presidential ambition as the driving force in his fawning praise of the President.  While her argument is compelling and astute, I suggest another less Machiavellian motive for Chris Christie.

The responsibility that governors must feel in these disasters has to be overwhelming.  To whom do they turn?  Other states may be in the same situation and, if not, they have their own problems.  Enter the federal government, whose role--as FEMA administrator Craig Fugate said yesterday morning on NPR--is to "support the states when the disaster exceeds their capabilities."

As Chris Christie is seeing first hand, the federal government offers a lift up to those in need, which is precisely the message President Obama has repeated throughout this presidential campaign.  Mitt Romney, on the other hand, would turn over many essential functions either to the states or to private enterprise.  A diminished FEMA, as Romney has endorsed, wouldn't have much to offer Chris Christie right now.

Best friends have a way of being there when you need them.  No wonder Chris Christie has a new BFF.

Control Freaks

How interesting that in the midst of this contentious campaign--where Republicans seek to control women's bodies, voter identification, immigrant rights, and definitions of marriage, patriotism, and the Constitution itself--along comes a monster storm over which no one has control.  Will the control freaks take note?

Probably not.  But I wish Mitt and his minions would quit trying to impose their narrow view of America on those of us who don't fit their mold.

And the Winner Is. . .

The final presidential debate this week gave us a look at both the professor and the student.  President Obama's tendency to lecture stood him well; you could follow him and take notes easily.  Governor Romney, on the other hand, played the part of the earnest, but mediocre student trying to remember the notes he so laboriously copied each day in class.  He sounded wooden and rote, as in this example: "Syria is Iran's only ally in the Arab world.  It's their route to the sea.  It's the route for them to arm Hezbollah in Lebanon, which threatens, of course, our ally, Israel."  B-?

Anyway, we give geopolitical awards this time:

The "We're Finally on the Map" Award: Mali, which received two Mitt mentions for its northern region having been taken over by Al Qaeda.

The "Huh? Could You Elaborate?" Award: Latin America, which according to Mitt, "is a huge opportunity for us--time zone, language opportunities."

The "Kick Us When We're Down" Award: Greece, for being the country you don't want to be.  Said Mitt, "[Businesses won't want to] invest in America if they think we're headed on the road to Greece."

The "Most Apt Metaphor" Award: Barack Obama, for saying, "Governor, the problem is. . . you've been all over the map."

The "Can We Talk About Something Else?" Award: Mitt Romney, for the following foreign affairs observations--"I like American cars," "Research is great," and "I love teachers."

Lucy Ledbetter

Mitt Romney's debate comments about women in the work place went viral this week, especially his priceless metaphor of women in binders.  Our series--adapted from the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper album--continues with a song based on "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

Picture yourself as a talented woman
With briefcase in hand and MBA skills.
Mitt's office calls you, you answer quite slowly,
Is this where you want to end up?

Governor Romney, he says he wants gals,
And they can go home at 5,
'Cause hubby's waiting for dinner to eat,
And there's kids.

Lucy in a binder for Mitt
Lucy in a binder for Mitt
Lucy in a binder for Mitt
Ahhh.

Follow her down to the office in Boston
Where other gals sprang from a binder like her.
"Gosh, we found women to serve in my cabinet,"
The governor gushes aloud.

"I am for women as much as Barack,
They can have birth control, too.
Abortions, whatever, I'll say what I must
To win gals.

Lucy in a binder for Mitt
Lucy in a binder for Mitt
Lucy in a binder for Mitt
Ahhh.

The Ghost of Republicans Past

Though his name is rarely invoked these days, George Bush hovers over our politics and over our presidential campaign like a flitting Halloween ghost.  One of the questioners in last night's debate noted W's absence and posed a telling question to Mitt Romney: How are you different from our last Republican president?  Romney's answer rambled on--the times are different, he'd crack down on China, he'd balance the budget (how?)--but it was President Obama's response that brought the ghost to life.

Mitt Romney and George Bush peddle the same failed economic policies, Obama indicated, but they differ in social policy: "George Bush didn't propose turning Medicare into a voucher," Obama said.  "George Bush embraced comprehensive immigration reform.  He didn't call for self-deportation.  George Bush never suggested that we eliminate funding for Planned Parenthood."

Social policy often gets lost in this campaign's rhetoric, but it ought not to.  The current Republican party headed by Mitt Romney is so extreme that George Bush looks reasonable.  If undecided voters can't figure out which candidate is going to move the economy forward, then they should look at social policy.

The backward movement of Mitt Romney is clear. . . and scary.  It's not a place most of us want to go.

Debatable Demeanor

The over-the-top reaction to Joe Biden's debate smile strikes me as silly and diversionary.  If you listened to what he said, he made a lot of sense.  With the Itsy-Bitsy Spider as our guide again this week, here's a toast to the Vice President:

Candidate Joe Biden he kept his smile bright,
That's 'cause he knew his views were in the right.
Passionate, committed, he made his case just fine
And he sat back in his chair and let his smile shine.

And the Winner Is. . .

Given that the 3 main characters in last week's debate were all losers--Romney for lying, Obama for dithering, and Lehrer for missing in action--we turn elsewhere for winners:

Most apoplectic response: MSNBC's Chris Matthews, who let Obama have it (now if only the President would watch cable TV. . .).

Kindest (and greenest) response: Al Gore, for citing Denver's high altitude as possibly responsible for the President's weak performance.

Best analysis of Obama's Achilles' heel: Matt Bai in "Obama's Enthusiasm Gap"--an explication of the President's maddening passivity over the past 4 years.

Most understated headline: The New York Times for "Axelrod Says Obama Will Review Tape of Debate."

Most in-the-hot-seat: Vice President Biden, who's got no room for error on Thursday night.

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

I wonder what President Obama thought of his debate performance Wednesday night.  Perhaps the Beatles' song "I Should Have Known Better" ran through his mind the next morning:

I should have known better with a guy like him
That he could show up and not be so dim
But I lost
Hey, hey, hey
At a cost.

Oh, oh, I didn't realize how often Mitt would lie
Or that Jim Lehrer would sit back and sigh
But they did
I don't kid.

That when I came to the debate floor, oh
I should have made sure not to bore, oh
I should have shown Mitt to the door
Instead I wimped and that's for sure.

That's for sure
That's for sure
That's for sure.

Big Yawn

I fell asleep watching the presidential debate last night, missing about 20 minutes of tax talk.  While I was awake, I must have heard Barack Obama say "middle class" more than any other word and Mitt Romney say "business" more than any other word.  I guess we know where their priorities lie.

Did this debate advance anyone's understanding of the issues before us?  I can't imagine that it did.  Full of fact-challenged wonk, it left me bored and frustrated.  Perhaps some voters will feel more confident about Mitt Romney's candidacy--as he appeared more comfortable than he usually does--but if you were looking for a cogent presentation from either candidate, it wasn't there.

Let's see what the vice presidential hopefuls have to say next week.

Just Another Armed Robbery

One of the teenaged thugs who robbed my neighbor at gunpoint Friday morning hid his face behind a scarf.  The other one--the one who pointed the gun at her head--may or may not have concealed his face.  She can't remember all the details that greeted her that morning shortly after she arrived at work.

We don't hear much about the people who survive guns pointed at their heads day after day in America, but they're everywhere--at grocery stores, banks, quick stops, ATMs, just about any place where money changes hands.  Fortunately, they live to tell their stories.  But they're victims of terror, a home-grown terror that's allowed to flourish unchecked.  We spend all kinds of money and time and Congressional hearings on international terror--subjecting ourselves to wand searches and shoe removal at airports--while we allow practically anybody at home to buy a gun and carry it wherever he wants. 

If we can take on terrorists who hide in caves in Afghanistan, can't we take on terrorists who walk down our streets?  It's time to disarm these people and time for our presidential candidates to tell us how they're going to do it.

Up the Water Spout

Mitt Romney's efforts to stay competitive--especially during these recent weeks when he's lost ground--remind me of the itsy bitsy spider's persistent climb.  Sing to the tune of this favorite nursery rhyme:

Candidate Mitt Romney just couldn't get it right
Down came the polls and made the race less tight.
Out came Obama and all that he stood for
And candidate Mitt Romney remade himself once more.

Insincerity

Mitt Romney re-invents himself every week.  Last week he was the rich guy in loafers, wearing no socks, commiserating with fellow Boca Ratoners about the 47% of us who mooch off the government.  This week he's in working-class Ohio feeling the pain of the same 47%: "My heart aches for the people I've seen," he said.

Holden Caulfield, the protagonist in J. D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye, would have no trouble understanding Mitt's latest caricature.  Caulfield tells his readers, "I am always saying 'Glad to've met you' to somebody I'm not at all glad I met.  If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though."

It's pretty easy to spot someone who's doing everything he can, however contradictory, to stay alive.  Perhaps this is why Mitt Romney is plummeting in the polls.

Bumbling Mitt

What a week for Mitt Romney!  Sing to the tune of "Both Sides Now" by Judy Collins:

Olympic games, the Middle East,
I spoke my mind, I made my peace.
But no one thought I made much sense,
They said I made things tense.
And now old friends have turned away,
"You're losing ground" is what they say,
But something's lost and not much gained
In speaking every day.
I've tried to lead from both sides now
As corporate man and governor,
It's talking big that I recall,
I don't know how to lead at all.

Slouches, slugs, they don't work hard,
I told it straight to the old guard.
I said exactly what I meant
About the forty-seven percent.
But Mother Jones unearthed the clip,
And now I'm getting lots of lip
From folks on both the right and left
They all think I'm tone deaf.
I've looked at life from both sides now
From rich and rich and still somehow
It's life as privilege I recall
I really don't know life at all.

And the Winner Is. . .

The videotape released this week by Mother Jones is so priceless and revealing it's hard to know what to say.  Instead, I'll make some awards:

Best supporting actor: James Carter IV for discovering the footage and shepherding it towards publication--and for making his granddad proud.

Best critical review: David Brooks of The New York Times for his withering critique.  Click here if you missed it.

Best graphics representation: Andrew Morgan and Katy Waldman from Slate for their funny flow chart.  Answer questions like "Do you believe you're entitled to food?" and the chart will direct you to your preferred presidential candidate.

Best Gatsby-esque feature: The tinkling and clinking sounds of fine glassware, china, and silver that reverberate throughout the tape, as a backdrop to Mitt's ambling remarks.

Best (and most unusual) cinematographer: Deep Throat, whoever she or he may be, for shooting footage that makes you feel like a spy.

Sgt. Romney's One-Man Show

Mitt Romney has spent much of this campaign re-introducing himself every few weeks.  We met a new Mitt not long ago at the Republican National Convention, and this week he presented himself as a foreign policy chief--and pretty much blew it.  These never-ending introductions remind me of the Beatles' song "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band."

Well it was 20 years ago today
Willard Romney finally found a way
He’d been changing in and out of styles
Hoping he would generate some smiles
So may I introduce to you,
The act you’ve know for all these years
Willard Romney’s latest one-man show.

We’re Willard Romney’s latest one-man show
We hope you will enjoy what’s new
We’ve changed our minds on everything we could
So far from where we all once stood.
Health care, taxes, immigration and you name it
We’ll support whatever you say so.

It’s wonderful to be here,
It’s certainly a thrill,
You’re such a lovely audience, we’d like to take you home with us
We’d love to take you home.

We don’t really want to stop the show
But we thought you might like to know
That the man you’re all here to see
Is as changed as he can possibly be
So may we introduce to you
The one and only Mitt Romney
And Willard Romney’s latest one-man show!