Joe Biden Rising

Here's to Joe Biden.  He's emerged as President Obama's best emissary and negotiator during both the fiscal cliff talks and now in discussions on gun violence.  Perhaps this development is a sign that the President will use the executive branch more in his second term rather than defer to our hapless Congress.

With the American folk song "Old Joe Clark" as our guide, we salute the Vice President (and hope that he continues to take charge--rather than the Congressional leaders who've gotten us nowhere):

Joe Biden he made a deal
With the other side,
Stepped into a big old mess
Of talks that had just died.

Hello Joe Biden
Good-bye Harry Reid,
Hello Joe Biden
It's time for you to lead.

Joe Biden he is our man
Taking on tough stuff,
Trying to enact a ban
'Cause we've had enough.

Hello Joe Biden
Good-bye Nancy P,
Hello Joe Biden
You now hold the key.

Joe Biden he listens well
Gets along with all,
Doesn't demonize his foes
Up and down the Mall.

Hello Joe Biden
Good-bye Mitch and John,
Hello Joe Biden
We're so glad you won.

The Fools on the Hill

On New Year's Eve our local PBS station broadcast the original film of the Beatles' Magical Mystery Tour.  Wild and wacky, it features a segment where Paul McCartney sings "The Fool on the Hill."  How amusing to hear this song on the very eve that our Republican-led House of Representatives attempted to steer us over the cliff, veering dangerously towards the extreme views of its party.

Day after day,
"At work" on the Hill,
The men of the Tea Party keep thwarting
bill after bill
And most of us just don't get them,
We can see that they're really fools,
'Cause they never give an answer

'Cept to keep the rich untaxed,
For they don't understand,
And the eyes in their head,
See their world giving way.

Full of themselves,
Heads in a cloud,
These men of unreasoned voices talking perfectly loud
And very few want to hear them,
Or the sound they appear to make,
'Cause they never give an answer

'Cept to keep the rich untaxed,
For they don't understand,
And the eyes in their head,
See their world giving way.

And even John Boehner irks them,
They won't do what he wants them to,
'Cause they have their own agenda,

All these fools on the Hill,
See the sun going down,
And the eyes in their head,
See their world giving way.

Failure to Perform

On the eve of the fiscal cliff dive, perhaps we should consider withholding pay from our legislators when they fail to do their job.  The House of Representatives is especially non-functioning.  What kind of evaluation would most of us receive if we didn't provide services to our customers--the very services we're paid to do?  We're stuck with a sorry lot on Capitol Hill.  The children's song "Did You Ever See a Lassie?" comes to mind:

Did you ever see a Congress
reneging like this one?
Did you ever see a Congress
reneging like this?

Right wingers, they dither,
They dawdle and postpone.
Did you ever see a Congress
reneging like this?

Over the F'Cliff

For some reason the fiscal cliff provides endless opportunities for spoofing.  Perhaps it's the unfortunate name we've given it.  At any rate, sing to the tune of "Over the River and Through the Woods":

Over the F'Cliff and down the tubes
To John Boehner's House we go.
His troops are extreme, they make up a team
That only ever says NO!

Over the F'Cliff and down the tubes
Oh how right wingers whine.
It's taxes they hate no matter the rate
Dumb pledges they did sign.

Just Two Guys

Thursday's news that President Obama and House Speaker Boehner will conduct fiscal negotiations alone (without Mitch McConnell, Nancy Pelosi, or Harry Reid present) reminds me of an old song by Grover Washington, Jr., and Bill Withers, "Just the Two of Us."  The breezy romanticism of the original song provides a nice contrast with the brinkmanship currently taking place.

I see ahead a fiscal cliff
That I want so hard to miss but I don't know if we will
To make a deal is hard to do when there's no one else to blame
And I must report back to the Hill.

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us

Just the two of us
Building bridges in D.C.
Just the two of us
You and me.

We look for cuts, no time for tears
Deficits are all that is and they don't make no jobs to grow
Good things might come to those who wait, not for those who wait too late
We've got to generate more dough.

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us

Just the two of us
Cutting deals across the aisle
Just the two of us
No more bile.

I hear the tax pledge signers sigh I am simply not their guy
It's Grover Norquist they prefer
And, Barry, when that date arrives and I see the cliff in sight
I want to be with you, dear sir.

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us

Just the two of us
Trying hard to compromise
Just the two of us
Just two guys.

Over the Cliff

Here's one for our feckless Congress.  Sing to the tune of "She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain":

We'll be jumpin' off the fiscal cliff, we will,
We'll be jumpin' off the fiscal cliff, we will,
We can't ask the rich to pay more
'Cause they'll end up being too poor
So we're jumpin' off the fiscal cliff, we are.

Prez is drivin' a hard bargain, yes he is,
Prez is drivin' a hard bargain, yes he is,
Boehner still wants all those tax cuts
Keep in line all his right-wing nuts
Prez is drivin' a hard bargain, yes he is.

And we'll go into recession when we jump,
Yes we'll go into recession when we jump,
'Cause our Congress made a bad deal
One we wish that they could repeal
So we'll go into recession when we jump.

Some will kill negotiations when they can,
Some will kill negotiations when they can,
That's the problem with our Congress
How it functions no one can guess
Some will kill negotiations when they can.

We'll be shoutin' Hallelujah when we jump,
We'll be shoutin' Hallelujah when we jump,
For we know no one can save us
So let's not create a big fuss
We'll be shoutin' Hallelujah when we jump.