Tax Talk

Here's a vocabulary quiz in honor of tax day.  Choose the best definition from the options below.

1040
A. A nautical term of confirmation, as in "Over and out" or "OK."
B. A nontoxic cleaning agent.
C. The standard IRS form that individuals use to file their income tax returns.

Dual status alien
A. A bisexual Martian.
B. Two flying saucers attached together.
C. A tax status for individuals filing returns.

IRS
A. An Irish revolutionary organization.
B. An online dating service.
C. The Internal Revenue Service.

Head of household
A. What most American males think they are.
B. What most American males--in reality--aren't.
C. A filing status for individual taxpayers.

1099
A. The year of the Battle of Hastings.
B. A position from the Kama Sutra.
C. A form used to report a variety of taxable income.

Qualifying child
A. A child over the age of 8 who competes in the Olympic games.
B. A child under the age of 8 who secures early admission to Harvard.
C. A child of any age who meets certain IRS criteria and may provide tax benefits to a taxpayer.

Third party designee
A. The third person in a menage a trois.
B. The head of the Green Party USA.
C. A person authorized to discuss another person's tax return.

Did you guess "C" each time?  If so, you don't have to file your return today.  You've demonstrated superior understanding of the American tax code, for which your government thanks you.  Congratulations!  H & R Block wants you.

Sweet Congressman

With budget negotiations about to begin in Washington--in all their absurdity--I'm reminded of "Big Spender" from the musical Sweet Charity.  This song's about Paul Ryan:

The minute he walked in the House
I could see he was a man on a mission
A real cost cutter
Good looking, soulful eyes
Say wouldn't you like to know what's going on in his mind?

So let me get right to the point
He would give tax breaks to all the richest folks
Hey Paul Ryan
Spend a little dough on us.

From the East Wing

In the midst of all that Congressional noise of our legislators debating gun safety measures came the sane voice of the lady down the street--the First Lady, that is.  Here's what Michelle Obama said yesterday at a luncheon in Chicago:

"We can't stop all of the violence in the world, but if there is even one thing we can do, even one step we can take to save another child or another parent from the grief that's visited families like Hadiya's, and so many others here today, then don't we have an obligation to try?"

She's right.  Saving lives is the bottom line, however small the step might seem.  All of the other arguments we hear, particularly those of second amendment rights, simply don't rise to this level of moral import.

She's right.  We have an obligation to try.

Tax Time

Too
tired
to
type
today.

My Fair Neighbors

So this is a lighthearted reflection on the walks I take each morning in my neighborhood, where I pass people that I don't know very well.  We have a nodding acquaintance, you might say, and so I salute these fellow travelers of the dawn.  Sing to the tune of "On the Street Where You Live" from My Fair Lady:

I have often walked down this street before
And I see the same old neighbors as I saw before
There are dog walkers and the solo ones
Some who speak, some who nod, some who don't.
There are two nice guys, one is black one white
They are liberal Democrats and so I like them both
Others I can't tell if they're red or blue
But they're here on the street where I live.

And oh the curious feeling just to know so little at all
About these people I see now
Each day traverse the same path as the one I'm on.

People pass me by, they don't bother me
'Cause we're on the same old journey that we've always been
Let the time go by, I will care if I
Can't walk here on the street where I live.

A Dog's Life: Washington Waggers

Have you ever noticed that politicians look like dogs?  Take the quiz below and match the photographs with the following public figures: John Boehner, Michele Bachmann, Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Dick Cheney, and Paul Ryan.  Answers appear at the end (though multiple interpretations are acceptable--except for the basset hound and the bull terrier).

A) Afghan hound:
          

B) Basset hound:

C) Toy fox terrier:

                     

D) Chinese crested:

          

E) Bull terrier:
                                                                                            

F) Collie:
                                                                            
Answers: A) Nancy Pelosi  B) John Boehner  C) Paul Ryan  D) Michele Bachmann  E) Dick Cheney  F) Joe Biden

Duke Gardens Reflections

 "And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything."

~ William Shakespeare, As You Like It