Scandalous Isle

My favorite TV song from childhood is the theme song from Gilligan's Island.  It captures the spirit of growing up in the suburbs in the 1960s, when adventures seemed to come effortlessly.  Moreover, the opening line--"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale"--suggests endless possibilities.  So when the story broke about General Petraeus, I knew I had my song.  Sing to the tune of "The Ballad of Gilligan's Island" (first-season version where the Professor and Mary Ann are referred to as "the rest").

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale sordid and crass
That started with a socialite
Who liked to hang with brass.

The socialite was getting stalked
On cyberspace, no less
If not for the entrance of the FBI
We might not have this mess.
We might not have this mess.

The shirtless agent found some mail
Of scandalous content
A general was compromised
By emails stored and sent.
By emails stored and sent.

The story has engulfed a few notorious people
Like Jill Kelley
John Allen, too,
Paula Broadwell
and her spouse
Petraeus, yes
And the rest
Are here on Scandalous Isle.

The women's arms were toned and firm
The men were fit and strong
But when you head the CIA
You simply can't go wrong.

The general he had to quit
Because of poor judgment
He should have done a better job
Of hiding evidence.

So here we go again, my friends,
Another one brought low
Tune in next month to watch anew
This never-ending show.