Call Me Maybe

If you haven't watched the YouTube video of Barack Obama spliced-singing "Call Me Maybe" (by Carly Rae Jepson), you must do so by clicking here.  Now--and it's worth it--click here to watch the US Olympic Swim Team lip-sync the same song.

Now imagine what fun it would be if Barack Obama and the swim team joined up to produce a music video at the White House.  It's just what the campaign needs.  Sure, Mitt Romney injected levity last week during his trip to England, but Obama could use some humor in the midst of this long summer full of depressing news.

Of course there's the downside that the song--with its emphasis on the word "maybe"--could suggest that the President has been too hesitant in his first term, a fair criticism no doubt.  But he could pull off the performance in such a way as to poke fun at himself and engage voters all across the country.

So call or email or tweet David Axelrod (or Jim Messina or David Plouffe or Julianna Smoot or Rufus Gifford) and tell them to lighten up.  It's time for the President--with the help of America's best swimmers--to go viral. 

This may be crazy, but call me maybe.

Mother Goose Mitt

Mitt Romney couldn't get it right this week in England.  He managed to question Britain's ability to host the Olympics, prompting Prime Minister David Cameron's priceless retort: "We are holding an Olympic Games in one of the busiest, most active, bustling cities anywhere in the world.  Of course it's easier if you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere" (i.e., Mitt Romney's Olympics in Salt Lake City).

The Mother Goose rhyme "Pussy cat, pussy cat" provides an apt springboard:

Romney cat, Romney cat, where have you been?
I've been to London to insult the Queen.
Romney cat, Romney cat, what did you do there?
I showed off my weakness in foreign affair.*

* Romney-speak for foreign affairs (see sport/sports).

Thoughts on Gun Violence

1. It's hard to know what to say anymore, especially for those of us who can't believe the insanity of our gun laws and our bizarre relationship with weapons. Nothing anymore, no matter how heinous, moves us to do anything about our violent country. Those who suggest even the slightest bit of regulation are ignored or denounced.

2. When I hear people argue that armed citizens in the Aurora movie theater last week might have prevented the tragedy, I feel like putting my hands over my head and screaming.  What kind of delusion is this and where does such thinking come from?  It defies both common sense and experienced testimony--that of Joe Zamudio in Tucson, for example, who--armed when he came upon the Gabrielle Giffords shooting--almost shot the wrong man.  And a 10-year study of New York City police officers showed they hit their targets about a third of the time in actual shooting situations (Robert Spitzer, author of The Politics of Gun Control, speaking on The Diane Rehm Show).  We're to believe that regular folks sitting in a movie theater or college classroom could do better than this?

3.  When my mother asked someone at her church why anyone needs an assault weapon, he answered, "because they're fun to shoot."  Many gun owners, for some reason, think their rights supersede the safety of others.

4. The only data I could find on the difference in opinion between men and women on gun control comes from the Pew Research Center in March 2010.  Those surveyed were asked if states and localities should be able to pass laws banning handguns.  Only 38% of the men responded yes, while 51% of the women responded yes.  Interestingly, the other groups with high percentages responding favorably were non-Hispanic blacks (64% yes) and Hispanics (61%).  I guess those of us with the least power would like better protection.

5. It's wrong that we ask our police officers to stop cars, enter homes, and patrol neighborhoods where citizens may be better armed than they are.  How can they focus on protecting us when they have to worry about protecting themselves?   Even the most innocuous incident can turn deadly for police officers.  This is immoral.

6. Initially I ignored the predictable emails this week from the Brady Campaign.  After all, the organization hasn't been very successful.  But then last night I answered the phone, even when the display indicated "unknown name, unknown caller," got out my credit card, and made a donation.  I simply can't give up. 

Taking a Stand

In his new book A Nation of Wusses, former Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell decries the lack of courage and conviction among American politicians today.  This weekend three leaders deserve recognition for standing up for what's right:

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg for challenging both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney to explain their plans to address gun violence in America.  "What do they stand for and why aren't they standing up?" he asked on Face the Nation.  "It's time for both of them to be held accountable."

Penn State President Rodney Erickson for ordering the removal of the Joe Paterno statue from the university campus.  Leaving it up, he said, would be a "recurring wound to the multitude of individuals across the nation and beyond who have been the victims of child abuse."

Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren for speaking out in the Washington Post about the Libor scandal and the rigging of interest rates.  "With a rotten financial system once again laid bare to the world," she writes, "the only question remaining is whether Wall Street has so many friends in Washington that meaningful reform is impossible."

All three of these people stand to lose for taking a stand--whether they lose stature or alumni support or votes.  How refreshing to hear their voices rise above the timidity we've come to expect.

What's French for Michele Bachmann?

Michele Bachmann returned to the stage this week with her usual incendiary gusto.  With apologies to Paul McCartney for his lovely song and lyrics and with thanks to Daniel Hood for his excellent translation, we sing to the tune of "Michelle."

Michele, it's hell
hearing you spew out your hateful views,
Oh, Michele.
Michele, c'est enfer
écoutant à tú vomissant tien
vues odieux.
We've heard you, we've heard you, we've heard you
On gays and climate change
We wish that you would speak less
Until you do we're telling you so you'll understand

Michele, c'est enfer
écoutant à tú vomissant tien
vues odieux.
We need to, we need to, we need to,
We need to make you see
You sound like Joe McCarthy
When you accuse Hill's assistant of base treachery.

Please stop this. . .

We hope you, we hope you, we hope you
Will stop this bigotry
We want you gone from D.C.
Until it's true we're telling you so you'll understand
Michele, c'est enfer
écoutant à tú vomissant tien
vues odieux.
And we have said the only words we know that you'll understand
Oh, Michele.

Muzzle Michele

Can the voters in Minnesota's 6th Congressional District please do all of us a favor and vote Michele Bachmann out of office this November?  The Congresswoman's recent attack on Huma Abedin, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's long-time assistant, is as ignorant and ill-informed as Bachmann repeatedly shows herself to be.  It's depressing that we have such mindless legislators in Washington.

At least John McCain has the sense to call out Mrs. Bachmann for her bigotry.  Going forward, she deserves to be ignored.

Patriotism Lite

On Saturday at the International Spy Museum in Washington, DC, we watched short, motivational film clips from the 1940s.  One encouraged Americans to mail their income tax payments early to support the war effort.  Imagine that!  The idea that paying taxes might be patriotic, something we do for the larger good of our country.

What an old-fashioned idea.  I guess we've moved on since World War II.  Patriotism now means wearing a flag pin and cutting taxes.

What kind of motivational film clips could we possibly produce today?

Offshore Opportunities

With a new Vanity Fair article about Mitt Romney's offshore tax shelters and more questions about his employment at Bain Capital, the governor has lots of explaining to do.  No doubt he'll dodge the questions, but in the meantime here's a song for Mitt.  Sing to the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad."

I've been working on tax shelters
All the live-long day,
I've been working on tax shelters
Just to pass the time away.
Don't you know those Cayman Islands
Shelter all my cash?
Don't you know those Cayman Islands
Hide away my cash?

Taxes I don't pay
Taxes I don't pay
Taxes I don't pay like all of you.
Taxes I don't pay
Taxes I don't pay
Taxes I don't pay like you.

Someone's in the Caymans with Bain funds
Someone's in the Caymans I know - o - o - o
Someone's in the Caymans with Bain funds
Stashing everywhere that dough, and singing

Me my money I owe
Me my money I owe - o - o - o
Me my money I owe
Me and all my Caymans dough.

A Dog's Life: Sundance

"No animal I know of can consistently be more of a friend and companion than a dog."
- Stanley Leinwoll

Wimbledon Wistfulness

There's something reassuring about Serena Williams and Roger Federer having won at Wimbledon this weekend.  Familiar people, masters of a sport they love and winning at the game on their own.

Rarely in public life do we watch individuals succeed through their own talents and hard work.  Think, in contrast, of the presidential election: so much of the outcome depends on fundraising and not on the merits of the candidates.  In fact, our entire political system--including the Supreme Court--is driven by moneyed interests and the influence they wield.  An individual's talents and hard work get lost in the quest for gold.

Other aspects of public life, too--from health care to the food and water supply to the economy itself--often depend less on the integrity of the individuals involved than on the corporate interests that drive decisions.  We can't reliably trust the medications we take, the procedures we undergo, the food we eat, and the water we drink.  Sounds like a third world country.

Maybe that's why we yearn for Wimbledon, a reminder of a more ordered world where personal accomplishment and individual skill actually matter.  Were it so in the rest of our lives.

Tennis, anyone?

Mitt Romney in Knots

Mitt Romney spent the week trying to explain his position on health care reform.  Pretend you're Mitt and sing to the tune of "Hello, Goodbye," by the Beatles.

It's a tax, no it's not
It's a tax, or it's a penalty.
Oh no.
For FOX it's a tax, for Mass it is not.
Tax? Penalty?
I don't know what to call this thing I once stood for.
Tax? Penalty?
I don't know what to call this thing I once stood for.

Obamacare, Romneycare,
What's the diff? I'm not sure I can say.
Oh no.
Barack's plan's not mine, and mine's not Barack's.
Mandated care?
I think we'll just keep quiet from now on that's for sure.
Mandated care?
I think we'll just keep quiet from now on that's for sure.

Why, why, why, why, why, why do you say
Mandated care?
Oh no.
Barack's plan's not mine, and mine's not Barack's.
Mandated care?
I don't know why I have to say what I support.
Mandated care?
I don't know why I have to say what I support.

Can I run, can I hide
From that plan of mine in my old state?
Oh no.
But health care for all is not in my sights.
A change in view?
Not really, yes, well maybe, who knows where I stand?
A change in view?
Not really, yes, well maybe, who knows where I stand?
A change in view?
Not really, yes, well maybe, who knows where I stand?

Puppet Panoply

 Paperhand Puppet Intervention presides over the Eno Festival parade every year.

The puppets evoke ancient gods and goddesses.

The Sun God is my favorite, but he's hard to capture because his handlers move him every which way.

Some of the birds are scary.

But the owl is like an old friend.

Follow-Up Questions on Health Care

1. To Mitt Romney: What exactly isn't working in your Massachusetts plan and how would you change it?

2. To Barack Obama: Now that your legislation has been approved by the Supreme Court, can you and your staff please do a better job explaining its merits to the country?

3. To columnists Robert Reich and Linda Greenhouse: How did both of you know on Wednesday night--before the ruling had been announced--that the Supreme Court would uphold the law's constitutionality?

4. To Chief Justice John Roberts: Will we see now a new model of judicial leadership or a return to politics as usual?

5. To Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana: How could you even think of denying an expanded Medicaid program to your state's poorest residents?

The answer to #5 can't possibly be reassuring, yet it lies in the heart of too many heartless Americans.  We claim liberty and justice for all, but we don't come close.